Terms of Service

By accessing or using placeboapparel.com (the "Site"), you agree to these Terms of Service ("Terms"). If you don't agree, please don't use the Site.

PLACEBO ONE is a satirical, parody brand. Every "formula," "prescription," "indication," "active ingredient," and piece of dosage-style copy on this Site is fictional, written for comedic and artistic purposes, and is not a real pharmaceutical, supplement, or medical treatment of any kind. Nothing on this Site has been evaluated by the FDA or any other regulatory authority, and nothing on this Site constitutes medical advice. Use it for laughs, reflection, and conversation — never for actual medical treatment.

You must be at least 18 years old to use this Site, place an order, or verify your email through The Pharmacist. Some content on this Site includes mature themes, strong language, and adult humor.

Verifying your email through The Pharmacist confirms that you own that email address. It does not verify your identity, age, occupation, or that you are a licensed pharmacist or medical professional of any kind — nothing on this Site should be treated as medical guidance, regardless of how it's presented.

Vicky, the Pharmacist character, is fictional and exists for entertainment only. Nothing she "prescribes" is a real medication, medical diagnosis, or treatment recommendation, and you should consult a real, licensed medical professional for actual medical advice.

Access to The Pharmacist requires an active membership at one of the published tiers ("member prescriptions" or "parody prescriptions" — entertainment content, not real medication). Verifying your email alone does not grant access.

As of this policy's last-updated date, membership activation, tier switching, and cancellation are simulated for development purposes only — no payment is currently collected or charged for any tier, and this is stated plainly on the membership page itself. Once real subscription billing is connected, this section will be updated (reflected in the "Last updated" date above) before any card is actually charged, and will include clear terms on renewal, cancellation, and refunds consistent with applicable law.

You can cancel your membership at any time from the account management page. Canceling immediately ends access to member-only content under the current, simulated setup; once real billing is live, cancellation terms will instead follow whatever billing-period language is posted at that time.

Product descriptions, "formulas," and pricing are presented for entertainment and, where noted, for real merchandise. As of this writing, checkout does not process real payment — placing an order through the Site does not charge you, and this is stated plainly at checkout. No purchase is completed until real payment processing is connected and clearly presented as such.

Once real payment processing is live: for any preorder, we'll provide a reasonable, visible shipping estimate before you pay. If we can't ship within that estimate (or within 30 days if none is given), you'll have the right to consent to the delay or cancel for a full refund, consistent with the FTC's rules on mail, internet, and telephone order merchandise.

The PLACEBO ONE name and logo, ACCOUNTABILITOL™, and all formula names, artwork, and copy on this Site are the property of PLACEBO ONE (U.S. trademark registration pending) or used with permission, and are protected by trademark and copyright law. You may not copy, reproduce, redistribute, or use them commercially without our written permission.

You agree not to:

• • Use the Site for any unlawful purpose.
• • Attempt to access accounts, cookies, or systems without authorization.
• • Scrape, copy, or republish the formula catalog in bulk.
• • Impersonate PLACEBO ONE or any real person.
• • Interfere with the Site's normal operation.

The Site and its content are provided "as is," without warranties of any kind, express or implied. We don't guarantee the Site will be uninterrupted, error-free, or secure.

To the maximum extent permitted by law, PLACEBO ONE and its founder(s) are not liable for any indirect, incidental, or consequential damages arising from your use of the Site, even if advised of the possibility of such damages. Our total liability for any claim relating to the Site is limited to the amount you actually paid us in the 12 months before the claim, if any.

You agree to indemnify and hold PLACEBO ONE harmless from any claims, damages, or expenses arising from your misuse of the Site or violation of these Terms.

We may update these Terms from time to time. Continued use of the Site after changes are posted means you accept the updated Terms.

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of Texas, without regard to its conflict-of-laws principles. Any dispute relating to these Terms or the Site will be brought exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Texas, and you consent to that jurisdiction and venue.

Questions about these Terms? Email ruffnekblock@gmail.com.